This is ridiculous. All I want to do is cook my eggs and oatmeal but I don’t want to go into the kitchen because I feel like the smell is just going to get all over me. Then I’ll be “the fat girl who smells like fried chicken” during my morning class. Annoyed, so annoyed.
do you have feel self-conscious while working out? that's the reason why i won't work out with my thin roommate even though i really want to. i just don't know how to overcome it.
When I first started working out, definitely. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to go to the gym because I felt like people would be thinking things like “Why is she even trying?” but now though, I realize that people who are really working out are too busy to even notice anyone else. I think once someone gets really into their workout they just tune everything and everyone else out, that’ll go for you too, when you’re going at an intense rate you’ll be too busy trying to breathe to feel self-conscious haha.
As for working out with other people, I actually prefer not to do that. I look at working out like it’s my time for myself where I don’t think about anything that stresses me out, I don’t think about any of my obligations like my job or school, or even my friends. Work out time is ME time and I love it that way. But if you want to work out with your roommate I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t judge you for it so try to put that thought out of your mind and go hard for it! I know that when I see someone bigger working out and working hard for it, I have actually have a lot of respect for them!
It never fails, anytime I feel stressed out over school, I eat like shit and/or binge. Usual binge food includes endless bowls of cap’n crunch cereal, cheese pizza, ice cream, and basically anything loaded with carbs. Usual binge reasons include physics exams, physics homework, and physics quizzes. If I feel depressed, I work out. If I feel lonely, I work out. If I feel extra fat, I work out. But school induced stress? Nope, I eat shit. Tonight is looking like one of those nights. Thankfully, I seem to able to stay away from the cap’n crunch. I am, however, eating this:
Low-Carb chocolate. I’ve had this in my refrigerator for the past few days so there was only about 1/4 of the package left. As far as binge-eating goes, this wasn’t all that bad. But it’s still pretty early…
The reason I’m able to stay away from the cereal? I’m running after work tomorrow and I hate the way running feels after eating crap the night before. Thank the running gods.
I had a very nice conversation with a guy at starbucks then I kicked some butt at the gym.
I’ve seen the guy a few times before so when I couldn’t find an open table I asked him if I could share his. He was very polite and I was able to actually get some studying done even though that Starbucks always plays their music too loud. As he was leaving, he noticed my physics homework. Cue a 20 minute conversation about LBCC, CSULB and being a biochemistry major. He told me that he went to LBCC too and that he’s also a biochem major and thinking about going to medical school. I told him that I’m really struggling in Physics and that being serious at LBCC is kind of hard since pretty much everyone is so relaxed and not serious about school. He told me that physics and biochem in general is pretty tough but that it’s do-able as long as you’re willing to work for it, then he said “Don’t let other people effect you or hold you back, it’ll bring you down and you’ll never reach your full potential.” I really need to keep this in mind, just because other people don’t study, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t either. I need to do what’s best for me regardless of what other people will think.
After Starbucks I headed to the gym for Ashley’s cycle class. My legs were still sore but I really wanted to push it since I haven’t been able to run lately (because of school). I felt great at the gym but now the soreness is even worse, just getting out up out of a chair is tough. I’m walking around all stiff too, I think this might be what being old feels like haha. Oh well! I’m working tomorrow and will be on my feet all day long so tomorrow will also be my rest day. But definitely running on Saturday!
So, there was an exam in my Physics class on Monday which I didn’t even bother to show up for since I was so incredibly unprepared, like I was going to legit fail because I hadn’t studied AT ALL. I was feeling really depressed about it, thinking that I’d really messed up this time, med/pharmacy school would not even look twice at my transcripts, and I’d pretty much resigned myself to repeating the class again next semester. BUT today, my physics professor approached me and asked me what happened, I told him the truth, that I was unprepared and that I would have to repeat the class and do you know what he said? He said “Shayla, you are not dumb! You can take the exam on Monday so study this weekend!” My jaw just dropped, what kind of professor does this for a student? I’m so happy, I still don’t think I’ll be able to get a good score but any points are better than no points right? I’m going to study all weekend!
On the fitness front: My legs are crazy sore! I downloaded the ‘Nike Training Club’ app yesterday and my cousin and I did the Butt Blaster workout, it was SO HARD but so worth it! While we were working out, it made me realize just how bad my balance and coordination is haha, so there’s another thing to work on. I really felt the soreness today and I had to take it easy during my spin class. I planned on running earlier but I had a little issue with my phone and had to go to apple to get it looked at. That took longer than I expected and I ran out of time to run before class but it was SO HOT (96 degrees) today sooo maybe it was alright that I didn’t run. But hopefully, my legs won’t be so sore tomorrow because I really need to go hard during Ashley’s class!